my way or His way

God created me with a free will. I am free to make choices everyday. I choose what to speak and how I speak. I choose how to spend my time. I choose how to spend my money. I choose what I think. I choose how I drive my car. I choose whether to wash those dirty dishes in the sink. I choose how to react to situations.

When I am in my old self, I choose to murmur rather than to praise God; I choose to complain rather than to thank Him; I choose to be judgmental rather than to be merciful; I choose isolation over oneness with the brothers; I choose to worry rather than to pray; I choose TV over the Bible; I choose anger over joy; I choose to demand others rather than to serve others; I choose to express myself rather than to express God...

Perhaps this is why the Lord charges me that I have to deny myself and follow Him. (Matthew 16:24) He wants to give me His life and nature, but my old self keeps getting in the way. I know that when I turn my heart to Him, I would make all the right choices, but how come I keep making those stubborn and stupid choices.

I, me and myself have to go.
God in Christ as the Spirit has to come in.

O Lord, help me and strengthen me that I would chooseYou in my daily walk. O Lord, thank You for giving me a free will. I choose to lose my freedom and choose what you have chosen for me. Amen.